Wow, keeping up the "freshness" of this thing is certainly going to be a challenge.  (eeew- that sounds like a feminine hygiene commercial....) 

Good news -- I've made it to Day 4 of this "cleanse" of my badness.  Bad news -- not sure where the CLEANSE went.  I keep waiting for a sign of the "snake" as they call it. You know - the days after the fiber taste like dirty arse daily drinks is initially on hold and the probiotic phase begins, you expect something earth (rather, toilet) shattering to happen, but alas, no.  But, again, I digress. 

But, first, a couple of steps back.  Why again am I doing this? Simply put, I didn't think I had it in me.  Seriously.  The daily routine - Zumba, latte, work (at home or onsite at client) dinner & cocktail.  Rinse repeat.  Thank God for me I decided a few weeks back to start to watch my cals on a daily basis, or I would have outright been screwed!  Second, I don't like people telling me what to do.  And, the cleanse, well, it gets to tell me what to do.  But, third, and most importantly, "the pants".

Yep, those are them. "The pants".  Hell, all of use ladies have them - in fact, I'd bet most dudes do too.  (One of my favorite S&TC episodes ever was Miranda post baby shaking it in her "pants")  You know, that pair of pants that you will somehow, sometime get back into.  I know you do, don't lie!! The pants have experienced one completely crazy night back in the late 90's.  And, I would like to see (crossing fingers and toes) if they might make an appearance in 2012.  If you need a little more information here -- my "pants" are low rise leather.  Yep, you heard me correctly, low-rise.  From non other than the bevy of all leather establishments, Wilson's.  What makes this pair of pants particularly unique is the fact that on a whim, (yes, those of you that know me well know my addiction to instant gratification) , in the fashion city of SF, I HAD to have leather pants for a launch event.  I am short.  I have a booty.  (this translates into - I don't wear a size 3) They don't make these things in lengths, so, I did what any klassy gal would do, I duct taped them so I wouldn't trip on the bottoms.  And, to this day -- that tape - well, is still in tact.  So, I figure, if that duct tape can hold all of these years, then by darn, I will get my ass back into them.  The lucky date ladies and gentleman?  With a bunch of hot-arse skinny ladies to see LMFAO in June.  No taking it back now- I've laid it out there.  If I am not in those "pants" in June, it will be the ultimate in public shames.  Game over.

Now, back to the subject at hand - the cleanse.  Since I missed a couple of days, going to try and recap them for you here:

Day 2 (Or as I call it, turning tummy Tuesday)
This was a hard one.  I forced myself into the gym for some wake-up cardio.  But, to be honest, it was more for the moral support of the lovely gals that I shake with.  It sincerely gave me the pick up I needed.  This was a day that I could actually eat some fat (now, some is very little and protein).  However, after a 504 cal first day, I would take what I could get.  I got to eat natural peanut butter.  Turkey fresh off the smoker.  I was in heaven. Then came what I believe to be the cleanse version of cravings and withdrawals.  Holy crap, I felt like crap.  If it wasn't for my partner in crime in this venture, my bestie, Levonne, not sure I would have made it to day 3, but alas I did. Overall rating for the day, a 3.  The fiber shake is sick as hell, but the shakes are awesome.  And, the Spark is dreamy.  Post cleanse I will make both of the latter part of my regular "clean" routine.  You heard it -- going to try and do the clean thing when this is done.  I WILL have lattes and alcohol.  I WILL NOT have noodle roni.  This is HUGE for me.  Seriously. (yeah, enough with the ALL CAPS  - but this is big.)

Day 3:  Feeling good this day. (about a 7+) Down 4.5 pounds - holy shnikes.  Feel good, lots of energy.  Even  after Zumba and a hard core back/biceps lift.  (might be worth mentioning that I am a huge fan of Tosca Reno - http://www.toscareno.com/, absolutely inspiring) This was also my first trip outside my own kitchen to a Mexican restaurant.  The chip craving was a nightmare, but suffered through long enough to enjoy grilled chicken (had to ask for it this way) chicken fajitas.  Surprisingly, I didn't want a margarita.  However, my bitchiness level was heightened - this I know.  The nice thing is, food choices are very much unlimited. Kind of cool to start to taste food again. Good food that is.  

Finally, today.  Ah, Day 4.  No fiber drink for a few days. Almost half way there.  Down 6.5 pounds.(btw, if you are reading this blog and don't know me, I don't weigh 400 lbs - this is quite a bit of weight for me....) WTF, is this a dream?  Still no "major" cleanse event and the weight is coming off.  Proof alone that merely calorie counting is not the answer.  Again, new day, new food choices.  Loved my lunch of taco salad -- ground turkey, lettuce, black beans and fresh pico.  It was heaven and super healthy.  Sparked up and am preparing to hit my 2nd Zumba of the day -- only because this is a special one.  The annual Cinco De Mayo Super Zumba event.  Going to sneak in my fruit and almonds RIGHT before class. 

Overall, I am making it through this cleanse event.  A sincere shout out to everyone for all the love and support.  Back l8tr. HK