For the first time in my life, I want to be "Pant-sed!"

Alright, take a walk down memory lane with me, will ya?  We're talking waaaaayy back when -- maybe 5th grade.  Remember the fear of being "pantsed"? No, I am not talking about getting a Wedgie or what we referred to in gymnastics as a Melvin, I am talking about the days of running away from the group that liked to "pants" people - the pulling down of the pants to display your rump roast for all to see.  Well, my kind of "pant-sed" is a variation of that.  I want to be able to pull UP my pants.  Do I need to remind you about the pants - the leather ones I purchased in the late 90's at Wilson's to attend an event in SF.  Yep, those pants.

Well, we are now T-6 days until the trying on of the pants. God help me.  As mentioned previously, I have been in a daily stare down with those fuckers.  (sorry, don't mean to be crass, here, but they are officially the enemy)  In fact, to prepare for this big try-on event, I have asked the very lovely Kelly Saunders (aka Special K, K-Dog) to pull together some of THE WORST Zumba workouts possible.

Don't believe that Zumba can be a good workout?  Then you haven't experienced the wrath of Kelly.  Don't believe me?  Seeing is believing. Yep, that's her. Check her out.  She is in killer shape. She is ripped -- and, only teaches (going to get this wrong, I know it) 8 classes a week (gulp), not to mention the classes she teaches for kids.  She is an amazing fitness leader.  Respect the hell out of her and one of the most supportive gals I have ever.met. Hands down. She ain't sitting in a bean bag chair eating cheetos to get that physique.  Therefore, I am dedicating my quest to get "Pant-sed" to her.  And, again, if you think you are in good shape, Zumba is for wimps or are just too cool for skool, I challenge you to take one of her classes.  1104 cals this AM in 60 minutes of bad arse sweating heaven.  Won't you accept my challenge?  Alongside Kelly, I would like to send tons of love to my Zumba brethren - Deb, Tess, Becky, Nicole, Kathy, Sue, Michele, and Jill.  (If I forgot any of you, ladies, my apologies. I have way too much going on in my little head)  Only 9 more days til LMFAO and hoping that noone gets arrested!!!

Well, enough of the love fest.  Let's talk about being the fat kid married to the skinny guy enjoying a weekend of sin.  Oh yes, I sinned. Big.  One of the best things about being off the "cleanse my soul" regimen is getting to actually eat and drink stuff.  And, well, I have been. In moderation. Kind of. But, alas, to my surprise, I have not had a latte in 4 weeks -- nor have I had Italian food (pasta, etc).  These two things are HUGE for me.  What I have had -- Fat Burger fat fries, several vodka sodas, a Sunday breakfast meant for a champion - bacon, ham, cheese, tatoes, peppers, onions. (yeah, not so clean) Arroz con Mariscos - YUM and Gummy Worms.  Shameful.  The pants will be pissed.  Matter of fact, if I don't fit into them on Wed, I blame the gummy worms. (And it will be the most momentous public shaming imaginable) I must, say, however, even though I have had some "sinning" I have kept on my workouts (gruntin' and all). Even better?  The back fat that I affectionately call my ex husband now has some muscle definition. And.....Today I finally did tri dips with 5lbs sitting on my legs. (note: i don't do half arse dips - i actually put my legs on one bench and my arms on another and do true dips - yeah, strength!!!)  But, as I look forward to Memorial Day weekend with friends away in Suncadia, I can only assume that I will be enjoying a slice or two from Village Pizza.  Ah voy.

Aside from all the moral support - holy hell the Zumba ladies are being patient with the workouts brought to you by the letter "K" and the "pants", I am so glad I decided to do the cleanse.  It really was a turning point for me.  I continue to enjoy the shakes and Spark daily.  (https://www.advocare.com/12058686/default.aspx)

Oh, and before I forget, a huge shout out to all the folks that walked in the Relay events -- including my Mom.  Love You!

Well, back to my "paying job".  Be healthy. Be happy.  Get off the couch and do it.

xoxo

Short Shorts Aren't For Everyone. Seriously.

Holy crap, they know how to eat in the South.  Or, more importantly, Texas.  Yes, again, with the hiatus on my posts, but mostly because I was out of town. I had the grandeur plan to write on the way down on Thursday night about the closing of my Cleanse, but Alaska gets me everytime with the rental of those movie players. Everytime.  Boo!  So, let's first start with the summary of my cleanse. 

Hard. Really hard. But, as I said before, we did it.  Down nearly 12 pounds and lots of inches.  I am a regular lift & grunt gal (ha!) and am actually starting to see some definition again. Yeah!  But, not out of the woods yet. I have so much work to do.  Sadly, a good portion of the work to be done is lower body. Yep, folks, leg lift 2X per week as well as a bunch of sprints added in for good measure. Barf. Literally. Work "left" to do however, is not how I am going to look at this.  I am changing the way I live and eat. For good this time.  I am sick and tired of having to kill myself to lose the weight again and again -- you hear me?  Can I get a HELL yeah???  All in all, the cleanse was not too bad and I have now "reminded" myself how one should take care of their body.  Eat well, hydrate.  Exercise. It's really not that tough.  It does take time and dedication, however, and sometimes the choice to exercise early or late in the day might mean missing out on extra zzzz, which is also very important. Ah, voy.

So, now what?  I had a focus before leaving for Texas, but now I really have focus.  I mean REALLY.  I don't know if it was me being overly aware (and conservative) as I put the first few morsels in my mouth on that Thursday, but there is an over abundance of really heavy folks in Texas.  Not only adults, children - so sad.  Stuffing chips, queso, fried fast food and flavored wet-kins into their little mouths just as fast as they could.  But, the icing on my focus cake? (Pardon me, going to get blunt here)  My first real treat to myself came on Mom's Day when I craved pancakes so bad, I could actually smell them.  Noone was cooking them  - the smell was just permeating in my mind so aggressively, it felt like an actuality.  I had to have them, and Jim's was to be the place.  You know this place - an IHOP/Denny's sort of greasy spoon where the locals come to have biscuits and gravy.  It took only one glance at the 14 year old shoveling in the goods so fast they couldn't keep her glass full of what looked like Coke.  It wasn't until she got up from the table with the shortest shorts I have ever seen that my mind really went South. And, no, she shouldn't have been wearing them. It was like her skin was trying to escape the tight get-up that was her Sunday best to have breakfast with her mom.  So sad. But, made me think twice about eating the three pancakes on my plate. So, I didn't.  Things I learned eating (and drinking in Texas):

1. don't try and order anything whole wheat - they have NO idea what whole wheat is -- at least at restaurants. 
2. They have self-serve bars for chips. Yep, self serve.  You probably get a free t-shirt for 5 baskets eaten.
3. BBQ must be accompanied by many slices of the whitest bread you've ever seen for "sopping." Gagalicious.
4. If you want to order something healthy at Sonic Drive-in, the only two things they have are apple slices and bananas. In fact, the server questioned  - "who comes to Sonic for healthy?" Doh. Guess she was right to call me out.
5. The oatmeal at Chikfila is OUT OF THIS WORLD. Order it - you will be glad you did. 
6. Torchy's street tacos.  Awesome goodness - chicken fajita booyah.  Again, too many chips!!

As much as I complain, sincerely appreciate Carla Robertson joining me daily for a workout. Without the "food escape" there would be too, too much temptation to be bad.  (The highlight of these excursions was a Zumba class taught by the Colombian version of Richard Simmons.) In fact, I did try "custard". No, not the jelly like yogurt crap, the ice cream. It was to die for.  My tummy was pissed I ate it. Not again.

So, back to what next?  I am now commencing on what I call the "Clone" diet.  The clean Zone. 
What the heck is that?  It is a clean diet of non-processed junk, following a strict "block" set of the Zone.

Remember my mention about counting cals, but not actually watching what comprised those cals?  Well, this will allow me to count blocks of protein, fats and carbs based on my weight & exercise level.  This will control my cravings and ensure I am fueling properly.  BTW, that is Tosca Reno.  She, at age 40, was tired of being heavy, and went onto develop and follow the eat clean diet and win many a fitness competitions. Today, at 52, she is in amazing shape.  My goal: Git R Done.

So, I invite you to follow my journey about food, weight loss and humor through the continued reading of my blog.  I will post recipes. I will be hard on myself.  I will entertain, I promise. 

Until l8tr/ HK

"All Show and No Go"

Funny, as the trainer at the club busted this out last night to describe those guys that workout that grunt and NEVER do legs and way too much upper body, it became clear to me that this could also describe me on this cleanse.  Yes, again, with the "cleaning out" talk.  I just want to make sure people understand, that it is okay not to shite your britches on this thing.  At this point, the only thing I am positive about is that if I eat crap on Thurs, I will shite myself on the plane.  Murphy's law.  BUT, alas...

 Nine, nine, nine. The number nine is so fine! Day 9 - yeah, baby.  You know what that means?  One more day of the a-hole fiber drink!  Actually, it means, we have almost done it.  Levonne and I have nearly beat this thing.  But, more importantly, it has given me a newly refined focus on health and wellness.  And, for that, I am forever grateful.  Matter of fact, I feel absolutely amazing. Better than I can remember feeling in a long, long time.  This blog -- well, I have decided it needs to live on to discuss weekly musings centering around food and my sincere hatred for the stuff.  Or, as I am learning, maybe it's not so bad?  Let's take my lunch for example.

Yep - folks, that is one serving of goodness right there.  That is my clean as a whistle version of spanish rice.  The best part?  It doesn't taste like a paper napkin!  Super fresh, super healthy, super easy. (ugh, again with the feminine hygience commercial rhetoric!)

Perhaps food isn't exactly the enemy.  Maybe it's the kind of processed food that I have thrown into my body. Doritos, Noodle Roni, Gummy Bears. Ah, the good stuff. Apparently, not.  I am going to be leaving this period of self exploration, yes, I flippin know it's only been 9 days, but hell it feels like a lifetime, with a better understanding of the right cals IN and cals out. Doesn't matter if you burn 5000 cals in a day, if you are eating 1200 cals of crap, you are destined for failure. And cheating. And minimal weight loss. And the back fat that I affectionately call my ex-husband. Kidding.  Thanks to the cleanse, I can nearly say bye-bye to that flap.

Back to it. Damnit.  The Cleanse.  (Did I mention, I am now an official Advocare Distributor??  I believe in this stuff, so darnit, if people ask, they can get it from me. <End advertising plug.>  (Besides, It's not like I am going to be pushing the stuff at a table outside the IGA, I don't have that kind of time!!) 

Day 8: Pretty uneventful, the rest of Day 8 went off without any issue.  Great upper body push routine with Katie "big balls" Farr followed by the best, I mean best dinner to date.  Grilled chicken with fresh marinara sauce. It was heavenly.  I wasn't hungry at 8:02PM like any other night -- thank God.  Besides my legs feeling like hibernating tree trunks, ready to tackle the last two days of this badboy.

As we began, today is the second to last day on this thing.  Didn't weigh myself this am  -- will do so one last time on Thurs, but can definitely see a difference, both physically and mentally.  I truly believe, you are what you eat!  Oh, and how much you sweat at the gym.  That is equally important. Fiber drink, barf.  (actually gagged for the 1st time today!) Chocolate shake, amazing.  In fact, going to take the shakes with me this weekend and buy a blender.  THAT's how good they are -- or, again, how crazy I am. 

I shall return.  Btw, "Where's the weightroom?" (said in an all neck, huge upper body sort of voice)
HMK

I Am So Clean Now, I Don't Even Need Soap!!!

Let's face it, I enjoy writing this badboy, but hell, it takes time and memory. Both, unfortunately, seem to be at a deficit the last few weeks.  Especially the last week.  Why, pray-tell?  Because I am now a full week into this thing-y. YES, oh, yes, only 3 glorious days left until I am done.  But, first a word from our writer.  My sincere apologies, ladies and gentleman, for the spelling and grammatical errors of the last post...I can only blame:

1) my lack of "real" food and big-girl beverage
2) my laziness
3) a deep scarring that appeared back in the 5th grade 

What happened? Glad you asked.  I am quite famous, you see.  Winning the honor of school spelling bee champion of Helen Keller Elementary in 5th grade beating out Michelle Vanberg with the "commonly" used word ballistic.  (Vanberg is MIA, btw, for our 20 year reunion -- another thing I have been spending time on the last several months, so, if you are reading this and know where she is -- let me know.  Thanks.)  The unfortunate thing comes next. I spelled my own name (gulp, yes, you read that correctly) WRONG in the practice round at the district bee. It was a big stage.  A few people. Embarrassing as hell. Scarred for life.  Perhaps the reason for my blog misgivings of the past.  Who am I kidding?  This is a blog, not a set of value propositions for a client -- carry on. 

Back to the subject at hand - food, why I hate it and the realities of this cleanse.  You ready for a big dose of the stuff?  Well buckle up. Going to be a bumpy ride.
When last we left you, it was day 4 and I was preparing to do my 2nd Zumba of the day.  A special Cinco de Mayo edition with the lovely ladies of the Ridge. 75 min of pure, kick your ass and sweat like a pig fun.  All followed by Margaritas and chips/salsa compliments of Ridge Fitness.  And, of course, I can't have any.of.it. Boo. But, I went and killed 1400 calories Kelly Saunders style.  So, day 4 ended up a 2400 calorie burn day. Holy crap.  However, problem with the calorie burn was this days eating plan ala Advocare.  First, if you can't recall, it was raining on Thursday night. Yes, I know, shocker, raining in Seattle. But, this was realllll rain. If you live here (or have lived here) you know exactly what I am talking about. As I stood in class, shaking my booty like nobody's business all I could think about was the grilled chicken breast with fresh marinara that I was going to enjoy as a reward.  But, guess what happened?  Hard rain, no grilling.  LK's rule.  I.am.in.trouble.  Unfortunately, day 4 ended on a sketchy note - barely 800 cals eaten and way too much working-out. Felt blah. And, learned something.  They recommend if you workout hard, eat an extra meal. Or perhaps take a break for the 10 days.  This program, IMHO, is not necessarily for the hard-core workout addict or athlete (sorry Drew Brews) as the caloric intake is fairly low.  Or, maybe I am crazy which could totally be the case.  Unfortunately, the hungry and over-work caused me to have a crap-night sleep.  So, day 5 is going to be tough. Now, onto the next several days.

Day 5: Ah, Friday.  Usually my favorite  - celebrate the week with some good food and a cocktail (or three) day.  "Uh, uh, uh," she said shaking her finger. Not this Friday - it is LK's bday, so celebrating at El Gaucho should be an interesting experience.  (NOTE: when you do one of these things, surround yourself with good, supportive people. Not people that think this stuff is a bunch of hooey. For the most part, this has been my experience, however not this night - would you believe that one of the dinner guests actually opened the cheese bread basket, which I love, and blew the smell in my face.  Found myself SHOUTING, not saying, douchebag.  Oops - sometimes the truth hurts.)  Thank God that my partner in crime in this thing was there to keep me focused and on the program.  Overall, this day was pretty good.  Confirmed that when you are tired and you can't have things like coffee or soda or red-bull, guess what.  The gym does work.  So much for a day off. pfft.  I needed that energy, damnit.  High point of this day, I wore a dress to dinner that I haven't been able to put on since 2004. BOOYAH!

Day 6: The second toughest day of this weekend. Cinco de Mayo. Mexican is my fav.  And, if I have craved anything during this cleanse, it is tortilla chips.  But, down 8 pounds now and some inches (not sure how many as I was a bumblehead and didn't measure....grrr) which feels great.  My energy level is ridiculous, and besides the cravings for some of the carby-crappy foods I love to eat, all good.  But, I am not going to BS you.  I am hungry on this thing.  Probably because I don't follow the program as closely in terms of the number of meals that I should be eating.  I can't eat every 3 hours.  I have tried.  I am too busy and it just frustrates me.  Plus, kind-of bored at this point with the choices.  However, here's a yummy tip from my personal Cinco de Mayo feast: Cook brown rice in organic chicken broth. Keep in mind, the real stuff takes about an hour, so plan ahead.  Once the rice is done, stir in some fresh pico and voila, a (sort-of) mexican rice. Super yummy & the highlight of my eating day.  Overall, feeling good. No bloat, no headaches, and leaner. But, again, hungry.

Day 7: Sunday. Funday. Legs Day. Barf Day. A day of getting stuff done and staying focused on getting through this cleanse.  I cannot believe that I have nearly made it through the weekend. Not going to lie, it has taken some serious focus.  I can hear some of my friends that do these often saying "what the hell is she talking about - it's only 10 days"  BS. This was hard for me.  Super hard. F-U-N. Last evening of the horsey pills and back to the fiber, tastes like a dirty a-hole tomorrow for the last 3 days, oh joy.  We will do this. Hell, we are doing this.  And, for those that are keeping score, still haven't tried on "the pants".  Not sure when that event might take place.

Day 8: WOOHOO, get-up, get sparked, get fiber'd. Oh, shite. Literally. Well, hopefully.  For those of you that think this thing is going to be a continual poo your pants style cleanse, think again.  I have been waiting for the "shit-break" American Pie style poo that has never come.  After all, it was the great Ron White that said "I am one large shit away from a new wardrobe".  Sorry to be graphic, but most believe that a cleanse is all about the poo.  In case you missed it, the fiber drink looks, and tastes like a colon.   Was I wrong?  Nope. But, heck, I will take it.  Worth the 10lbs I am down this morning.  Laser focused on getting to the end of this thing.  Couple more days - piece of cake.  (almost ;-))  Actually, going to try and do the clean thing when I am done.  Going to continue on the original DPS program, but more focused on what is comprising my cals daily.  Should be interesting.  Oh, and then there's cocktails. 

That's all for now.  I am sure you are so bored at this point, you have eaten your arm off.  More later.  Cheers to great health!  xoxo  - HK

Wow, keeping up the "freshness" of this thing is certainly going to be a challenge.  (eeew- that sounds like a feminine hygiene commercial....) 

Good news -- I've made it to Day 4 of this "cleanse" of my badness.  Bad news -- not sure where the CLEANSE went.  I keep waiting for a sign of the "snake" as they call it. You know - the days after the fiber taste like dirty arse daily drinks is initially on hold and the probiotic phase begins, you expect something earth (rather, toilet) shattering to happen, but alas, no.  But, again, I digress. 

But, first, a couple of steps back.  Why again am I doing this? Simply put, I didn't think I had it in me.  Seriously.  The daily routine - Zumba, latte, work (at home or onsite at client) dinner & cocktail.  Rinse repeat.  Thank God for me I decided a few weeks back to start to watch my cals on a daily basis, or I would have outright been screwed!  Second, I don't like people telling me what to do.  And, the cleanse, well, it gets to tell me what to do.  But, third, and most importantly, "the pants".

Yep, those are them. "The pants".  Hell, all of use ladies have them - in fact, I'd bet most dudes do too.  (One of my favorite S&TC episodes ever was Miranda post baby shaking it in her "pants")  You know, that pair of pants that you will somehow, sometime get back into.  I know you do, don't lie!! The pants have experienced one completely crazy night back in the late 90's.  And, I would like to see (crossing fingers and toes) if they might make an appearance in 2012.  If you need a little more information here -- my "pants" are low rise leather.  Yep, you heard me correctly, low-rise.  From non other than the bevy of all leather establishments, Wilson's.  What makes this pair of pants particularly unique is the fact that on a whim, (yes, those of you that know me well know my addiction to instant gratification) , in the fashion city of SF, I HAD to have leather pants for a launch event.  I am short.  I have a booty.  (this translates into - I don't wear a size 3) They don't make these things in lengths, so, I did what any klassy gal would do, I duct taped them so I wouldn't trip on the bottoms.  And, to this day -- that tape - well, is still in tact.  So, I figure, if that duct tape can hold all of these years, then by darn, I will get my ass back into them.  The lucky date ladies and gentleman?  With a bunch of hot-arse skinny ladies to see LMFAO in June.  No taking it back now- I've laid it out there.  If I am not in those "pants" in June, it will be the ultimate in public shames.  Game over.

Now, back to the subject at hand - the cleanse.  Since I missed a couple of days, going to try and recap them for you here:

Day 2 (Or as I call it, turning tummy Tuesday)
This was a hard one.  I forced myself into the gym for some wake-up cardio.  But, to be honest, it was more for the moral support of the lovely gals that I shake with.  It sincerely gave me the pick up I needed.  This was a day that I could actually eat some fat (now, some is very little and protein).  However, after a 504 cal first day, I would take what I could get.  I got to eat natural peanut butter.  Turkey fresh off the smoker.  I was in heaven. Then came what I believe to be the cleanse version of cravings and withdrawals.  Holy crap, I felt like crap.  If it wasn't for my partner in crime in this venture, my bestie, Levonne, not sure I would have made it to day 3, but alas I did. Overall rating for the day, a 3.  The fiber shake is sick as hell, but the shakes are awesome.  And, the Spark is dreamy.  Post cleanse I will make both of the latter part of my regular "clean" routine.  You heard it -- going to try and do the clean thing when this is done.  I WILL have lattes and alcohol.  I WILL NOT have noodle roni.  This is HUGE for me.  Seriously. (yeah, enough with the ALL CAPS  - but this is big.)

Day 3:  Feeling good this day. (about a 7+) Down 4.5 pounds - holy shnikes.  Feel good, lots of energy.  Even  after Zumba and a hard core back/biceps lift.  (might be worth mentioning that I am a huge fan of Tosca Reno - http://www.toscareno.com/, absolutely inspiring) This was also my first trip outside my own kitchen to a Mexican restaurant.  The chip craving was a nightmare, but suffered through long enough to enjoy grilled chicken (had to ask for it this way) chicken fajitas.  Surprisingly, I didn't want a margarita.  However, my bitchiness level was heightened - this I know.  The nice thing is, food choices are very much unlimited. Kind of cool to start to taste food again. Good food that is.  

Finally, today.  Ah, Day 4.  No fiber drink for a few days. Almost half way there.  Down 6.5 pounds.(btw, if you are reading this blog and don't know me, I don't weigh 400 lbs - this is quite a bit of weight for me....) WTF, is this a dream?  Still no "major" cleanse event and the weight is coming off.  Proof alone that merely calorie counting is not the answer.  Again, new day, new food choices.  Loved my lunch of taco salad -- ground turkey, lettuce, black beans and fresh pico.  It was heaven and super healthy.  Sparked up and am preparing to hit my 2nd Zumba of the day -- only because this is a special one.  The annual Cinco De Mayo Super Zumba event.  Going to sneak in my fruit and almonds RIGHT before class. 

Overall, I am making it through this cleanse event.  A sincere shout out to everyone for all the love and support.  Back l8tr. HK

I have to credit Katie's grandpa for the word "fatitude". A fatitude is a word to describe a fat person with attitude. Well, goodness, today, that might be me. I have bad habits and indeed this cleanse has already shocked my body into some sort of submission....but, I digress. To sum the day up, not too bad. About a 4 overall, but let me clarify. I'm NOT hungry. In fact, this badboy has me eating too often. What I am is in a crazed craving for bad stuff that I love. Pasta, bread, cheese, milk...wine. But, in the interest of "mind over matter" I beat this day. In fact, it said, don't work out. But, alas I did. 53 wonderful 500+ cals of lifting goodness. So, to that, I say screw you day 1 cleanse! In summary: -not hungry -very bored with fruit/veggies only. Bring on the protein!! (LK smoked a turkey breast for me and it is just screaming my name) -drank 3 gallons of water = pottied a gazillion times -the Spark drink & b-fast shake is yummy (not as yummy as Zumba shake, though) -no caffeine/sugar headache - super surprised! -will weigh tomorrow Well, off to bed after I take the cleanse and catalyst horse pills. I will leave you with this - I did it! Advocare Day 1 can suck it! Night night.

Clean as a whistle, let the cleanse begin.

Ah, yes, I wish I could say that I went into this with an open and educated mind. But, alas, not so much.  In fact, it was after just a few glasses of wine that I not only insisted that I do the advocare cleanse, but I bring a best girl-friend of mine along for a ride.  After all, how hard could it be?  Give up lattes and alcohol for 10 days?  Piece of cake.  Drink a morning fiber drink that looks & tastes like ass -- no problem.  I want that size 6. I yearn for that size 6.  Even if it means eating nothing but napkins for the next week and a half.

Let me start by saying, I have never LOVED food.  Never.  It has always been the enemy.  Married to a self-proclaimed foodie husband, God knows he has tried to get me to love the stuff.  Sadly, food (in my mind) makes me fat.  Always has.  Perhaps it is my love for the flavor of stuff like Doritos that has made me fat? Who knows.

So, this little "blog experiment" will chronicle my walk (and weight) through the Advocare 10 day cleanse. It will tell you everything. What I liked, what sucked and whether or not I look/feel different from the smattering of supplements that accompanies a very different approach to my daily food in-tact.  I do not guarantee results or weight loss at this point - I do, however, guarantee bitchiness, hunger and (eek) a pseudo positive attitude.

So, for the next 10 days, screw DPS (daily public shaming).  I, will, instead, take the end of my day to chronicle this journey. 

11:03AM - so far so good.  The only regret thus far is that thick-as-you-speak fiber drink that gets to kick off the day.  Today will be tough, however.  Nearly no protein or fats - all fruits and veggies, and no gym time.  Back later with the full report -- HK.